The first thing everyone needs to know about me is I am terrified of birds. And not in the 'oh holy crap that bird just bit me' kind of way. More like the irrationally psychotic paranoia kind of way...'that bird just looked at me!!!!'
(yes this is all very relevant!)
So, due to attempting to be very dedicated and continue to keep the whole 'I love fitness' facade going (personally I don't believe anyone who says that. I tolerate fitness but I certainly do not love it! Who voluntarily chooses to run in sub freezing temperatures?! The only reason I do it is because I know it's good for me...well I assume it is! I would much rather be sitting on the couch eating pizza...mmmm pizza 🍕) I decided to brace the Ballarat weather and run around the lake.
For those of you who have never experienced the pure joy of running around Lake Wendouree (insert sarcasm), picture...a bird infested hell hole.
As I was doing my last scroll through of Facebook (best procrastination product ever created!), I was unaware that a terrifying black swan, with eyes as red as he Devil's, had snuck up toward my driver's side door.
I swung my door open full force and knocked this demon possessed bird creature flat on its side.
It then proceeded to stand up and fly at me, wings flapping, eyes blazing, and neck stretched to the high heavens (which should be stretched downwards to hell where this animal clearly belongs!).
For some reason, I begin to scream 'I'm sorry I'm sorry!' And run full pelt to...well I have no idea where I was intending to go but it certainly wasn't near this creature.
In my extreme panic stricken mode, I left my car door wide open, keys in the ignition and all my semi-personal car-like belongings laying open to all who might walk by.
The demon (it has lost its real name privileges), continues to follow me until this older gentlemen, upon seeing my distress, runs at it with his backpack flying and attempts to pelt it full in the face!
Safe to say the bird made a mad dash for it (I would as well!) and retreated back to the water.
First of all, that swan should have realised I did not see it standing at my door, and that it was an inappropriate place to stand! I did not intend to hurt it, despite how much I am terrified of these creatures I would never intentionally hurt any living animal! However, many grateful thanks to the kind man who assisted me today, however the hysterical laughter was unnecessary.
Lake Wendouree, sorry to say, but I will never run your lake again!