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You are what comes out of your mouth - The Curse of Female Jealousy

 

As I sit here and write this, I find myself becoming emotional, reflective and even disappointed. I have been amazed over the years at how nasty women can be to one another, how they can bring their own friends down and feel no outward remorse over their words and actions.

 

I have found myself a direct victim to women jealousy. Now, do not get me wrong, jealousy, I believe, can come in different forms. Yet there is a dangerous form that tends to stem more so from women that can have extreme negative impacts. I have never been able to identify where the nastiness has come from, why their comments have been said, and why I have been a victim. However, as I found myself becoming so emotionally exhausted, I confided in a close friend, explaining my situation and begging for some reason as to why I was being treated in such a negative way. Two words came from her lips “Jealous Bitches”.

 

Immediately I was jolted into self-awareness. Jealously. Maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t a ‘spoilt brat’, an underserving person of love and affection from my boyfriend, or someone who wastes money in order to travel. Maybe my actions and adventures in life were normal and the people judging me were actually being plain nasty in order to express their jealousy. I have been told on countless occasions by many people, when expressing my achievements and new exciting occasions and adventures, that what I am doing is either ‘ridiculous’ or that I am a ‘spoilt brat’. Sometimes words are not even expressed, sometimes it is just their deadpan expressions that can feel like a knife is being twisted in your stomach, and their constant eye rolls can make you feel like a person who is two feet tall. 

 

Please do not get me wrong, I do not express my news in order to brag and gain attention, I do it because I am excited and wish to share my news with people who I consider my friends, hoping they can share in my joy and excitement. However, it is not always my news that becomes something of a mockery. It can just be my daily actions, something as simple as choosing to wear heels with my outfit, or dressing nicer than usual and being told I am ‘stuck up’ and a ‘princess’. It has become so consistent that I have found myself withdrawing from people, pulling away from social interactions and deciding to stay home, making up excuses as to why I cannot go out and choosing to remain safe in my own secluded environment, safe from the consistently negative comments and pure jealousy that has seemed to stem from multiple people in my life. I have pulled away from many destroying friendships due to this behavior and find myself over whelmed with a sense of freedom, a realization that these people are NOT my friends, and that it is completely unacceptable to treat someone in this way.

 

I cannot understand why we, as females, pull people down merely because they may be doing something that we ourselves wish we could do. We need to pull together, to celebrate the achievements of each other, to be supportive and kind, encouraging each other to explore the things that take our interest and to take opportunities that we may not be able to partake in. If you have ever felt the sting and negative impact of female jealousy, know that I am proud of you, that I want to celebrate in your achievements, that I care enough to listen to your exciting opportunities and share your joy. I will be the one to build you up, to encourage you and I will never be the one to bring you down. If you have been the victim of jealousy, know that there are people out there who do not behave in this way, that is not a normal reaction when sharing with other people, that it is NOT acceptable. Distance yourself from these people, and surround yourself with people who love and support you, and if you feel strong enough, confront these people. Ask them why they cannot be happy for you.


If this has ever happened to you, feel free to comment on your experiences, and, if it is something that is causing you severe emotional stress and depression, contact Beyond Blue on their helpline - 1300 22 4636. There is always help for you, you are never alone!

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